You can hear the same words of wisdom over and over again, but they don’t mean anything until you are ready.
Sometimes, you’re not ready for a reason. Sometimes you have mountains to climb and advice about fording a river is washed away, useless.
Yet, when you’re standing at the impossibly wide river, you remember the instructions in their context and seek out even more perspective from any passersby.
This has played out as both mountains and molehills in my life. If I’m ready to make a change or a decision, the steps to do so flow naturally for me. If I feel like I should do something but really don’t want to, I meet resistance and ultimately failure. It’s all about timing and being clear with myself on what I actually want.
For example, after spending time getting clear on my ambition for writing, I found it much easier to write every day. That’s advice I’ve heard for years, but in the context of “writing is just something I do for fun,” it fell flat. When I say “I am a writer and I take myself and my writing seriously,” integrating the wisdom to practice writing every day becomes part of my identity. The habit clicks into place.
I’m reading a book right now that I am not ready to implement. Your Money or Your Life is a programmatic book about taking steps towards financial independence. I have been intentionally more mindful and planning-oriented about my financial goals this year, but this book is catching me at a time where I’m clearly not in the mindset to follow the steps seriously and make it a priority. Instead, I’m letting the advice wash over me to inform my current goals: to increase my financial literacy, be more mindful about spending and saving, and continue long-term financial planning. But I’m not ready to pen and paper track everything to the penny, including the dime I find on the sidewalk.
I know I need to keep being real with myself about what I want and where that motivation originates. If it’s not from within, I’m probably setting myself up for a lackluster attempt and eventual failure. Ex: I can prove that I don’t need to drink Diet Coke for a month but I’ll pick it back up again since I have no internal motivation to break that habit right now (an experiment from last fall). On the other hand, cutting back on my alcohol consumption this year has been relatively easy.
Change comes from within and the only person who can decide on the timing is you. This isn’t a shame game. It’s learning to listen to what you want and what you’re willing to do to get it. Wisdom and 12-step plans and self-help books and habit tracking apps and gym memberships (etc, etc) are useless to you otherwise.
With Love,
Natalie