My friend mentioned this week that she hadn’t been feeling well. In January she’d done the popular Whole30 program and during that time had felt energized and healthy. Though she’s kept some of the eating habits after the 30 days were up, she started eating as she had before when she was out and began drinking alcohol again. It’d be easier to stop, she said, but she thought her social life had suffered in January when she couldn’t go out or join friends for happy hours.
I understood. We are immersed in a heavily drinking culture, especially living in Austin when there’s so many cool ways to drink casually: wine tastings, brewery hopping, hipsters bars, and great happy hour and boozy brunch deals. It does seem that most of social life is revolved around drinking. Even the most casual hang is a “come over for pizza and wine.”
When my friend was in the midst of the Whole30, we did hang out though. We went to explore the Central Library branch and had a Whole30 meal at True Food Kitchen. Sober, daylit, healthy. And fun, exciting, new, delicious.
There must be more options like that. At least for me. As my own habits have changed I’m less interested in spending time drinking with friends than I am just spending time with friends. But last weekend I did wine tasting with this same friend and I felt guilty this week for skipping the Galentine’s Day happy hour with my coworkers to go to a Zumba class. Would it have been better if I’d arranged a Zumba class for Galentine’s Day rather than a happy hour?
Last night I played board games with friends for Valentine’s Day and had two glasses of wine. Though I had an excellent time, I wish I’d kept it to one or zero glasses. My body reminds me this morning what I’ve already learned: I feel better sober.
I finished listening to Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before last night. It’s an actionable book exploring strategies for forming habits. In it she talks about the habit loophole of the “false choice”. From her blog on this topic:
“I pose two activities in opposition, as though I have to make an either/or decision, when in fact, the two aren’t necessarily in conflict. Someone once said to me, ‘I can either enjoy life to the fullest or eat lettuce and carrots for the rest of my life.’ Are these really the only two alternatives?
This is the false choice I’m battling with: If I don’t drink, I won’t have fun with my friends.
It’s obviously not true (after all, I didn’t even start drinking until I turned 21 and had a lot of fun before that), but after a few years of pairing social interaction with alcohol it’s a habit I need to consciously break.
This weekend, I have plans to see a matinee of Broadway’s Anastasia with a friend on Saturday, FaceTime with another friend that night, and hike with a different friend on Sunday morning. Lots of friendship, little to no alcohol needed.
Here’s my short brainstorm of hang-out ideas that don’t require drinking:
- Go to the library/bookstore
- Visit a museum
- Go on a hike
- See a movie or a show
- Go walk around a new part of town
- Get brunch, get lunch, get dinner, get coffee, get ice cream
- Play a board game
- Volunteer together
- Play video games
- Go to a community class (cooking, painting, etc)
- Go shopping (this isn’t necessarily a no-money spending list)
- Check out a local festival or art fair
- Get massages or pedicures
And more and more and more. We just need to take off our wine-colored glasses.
With Love,
Natalie