I’ve been complaining a lot the last couple weeks since my runner’s knee materialized. Over the last few months, I’ve gotten more excited about running than I have in years and it’s become an essential part of my daily routine that helps regulate my mental health. It’s hard to pull back on that goal after setting my sights on some longer runs and I’ve got the plethora of advice — many of which I will take — to help heal and prevent further injury in the future.
But the bottom line is that running isn’t my whole identity and I don’t want to let a lapse in it singe the rest of me. Because running was part of me losing weight and that hyper-focus I chose to put on my body (with mixed feelings), not running and no longer restricting my food (like I did for nearly a year) makes those less positive voices get a little louder in my head. And the solution for that isn’t running, it’s practicing self-compassion and continuing to work on embracing my body at any health and appearance.
I also need to challenge the all or nothing mentality I adopt. I don’t need to do four, six, ten miles runs right now. I also don’t need to stop exercising. I can walk. I can strength train. I can move my body and get that shot of endorphins that I love each morning while letting my knee rest until it’s ready.
And even as I write this I think about testing my knee on a run tomorrow — I’m desperate for that runner’s high, especially being back home in Wisconsin where it’s cool and quiet running by the lakeshore. But if I can’t, I’ll walk. Life is long and it is not a race.
With Love,
Natalie
I’m so there with you Natalie. I have been a runner for 37 years. Through health and cancer and children being born and divorce and marriage and job loss and…every significant event in my life has been accompanied by running. I’ve come to think about the tens of thousands of miles I’ve run as a tribute to living. Last May a DO said I’d need a hip replacement if I didn’t start stretching. It opened my eyes to an entirely new way of thinking about fitness. Health and fitness encompass much more than running. Flexibility and mobility are also essential to live long and well. It’s hard not being as active or at least being active in the sense of getting six in before breakfast. I applaud you for embracing where you are and continuing your efforts at moving. Thanks for your writing. I enjoy your voice. -Christian