There’s sweat in my cloth mask
As I walk with a friend on quiet paths
It’s over ninety degrees
And I think that it will make me breakout
All that breath and sweat trapped on my skin
But look, a human, walking beside me
Talking beside me
We say goodbye and I know I cannot touch
Not yet
Three months and counting
Who wants to take bets
On if I’ll cry when I’m hugged?
I am not doing all the perfect things
I am making some imperfect calls
I am reaching to keep the pieces
Falling off of me from floating too far away
As long as I grab them I’m fine
As long as I grab them I’m fine
I know how to stitch me back together
Melt a handful of chocolate chips
In a mug, microwaved for 60 seconds
Mix in honey nut cheerios
Some days are made for chocolate
Since I’ve laid off the weekday beers
And yet sitting here, at home
I wonder if this is the right thing
When there is a revolution underway
I’m trying to do what I think I can
But I’m also home tonight, eating cheerios
I will keep trying to do better
My cat cries loudly, at nothing
At intervals I can’t explain
And then curls up in my arms in the evening
Exhausted, nuzzling his head to my neck
Pressing his nose into my veins
I lean my head back in submission
And trust him not to bite
It doesn’t always pay off, that trust
But it does tonight
If I could hold the world like that
I would, scratches and all
So it can scream again tomorrow
Until we listen, until we understand
Until we let it go up in flames
If that’s what it takes
I’m here for what it takes
I will keep trying to do better
With Love,
Natalie