I pull on that old memory today: when I drank a Diet Coke and gave an enthused presentation at Kasteel Well on Blue Whales. That’s the kind of energy I need for a back-to-back meeting day with three trainings to lead after a disruptive night of sleep. It takes three Diet Cokes in all. My blood turns to aspartame but at least I talk about internal security protocols and creating safe passwords with some fucking pep.
Would anyone ever tell me if I made a fool of myself? I hope so. I hope not.
I don’t want it to matter, all these little things that are nothing in the context of the stars. But they do matter. Who are we to each other if our interactions — even ones about hiring advice and not leaving your computers in cars — don’t matter? But then — the ocean.
I really love Blue Whales. They are giant and interesting and I have a plushie of one on my couch from the World Wildlife Fund. When you visit a Natural History museum the replica of the Blue Whale hangs over the whole massive room — at least that’s how it was in London.
That was a full decade ago. I am a different person. I am the same person. I love Blue Whales and Diet Coke and can fake confident public speaking like a champ. Then I want to crawl into bed and never open my mouth again. Until tomorrow. Until after the weekend. Whatever I can get away with. More the same than not, I suppose.
Tomorrow I will hold myself to two Diet Cokes. Give my blood some time to thicken again.
With Love,
Natalie