It’s easy to start and maintain healthy habits when life is good. It’s necessary to do it when life is hard.
My stress-level has mounted recently and I’ve felt the tug to some old coping patterns. It sounds greats to drink wine after a tough workday. I would love to buy a bag of chips and eat the whole thing while binge-watching anime.
I am so grateful that I’ve built up a routine that steadies me. My response to stress, instead of drinking, has been to spend as much time hiking as I can. I’ve tried to maintain the beats in my day that I’ve worked so hard for: the writing, meditation, and exercise. The goddamn ability to talk about my feelings.
It’s slipped a bit – my preferred sleep and wake time have shifted by an hour. A major tell for my mental state is how much I resist going to bed. I’ve started having my Diet Coke before 8 am rather than waiting until I’m at the office. I did a couple of weeks sipping an ounce of whiskey while reading before bed . . . I like the aesthetic but not the accompanying lethargy.
But my walks and my habits and the opportunity to talk out my thoughts with family and friends are grounding me. I’m grateful for the time I’ve spent fortifying my defenses. A stressful season feels weatherable. I don’t need to numb out my life. It’s still a really, really good one.
It’s all a reminder to myself: to be purposeful about designing your life and habits when it feels like you don’t need to. You want the net in place. You never know when you’re going to lose your balance.
Or, for another metaphor, I like that FDR quote: “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” I’m far from the end of my rope, but it’s easier to hang on and climb again if I’ve already tied all the knots.
With Love,
Natalie