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The aggressive title is my own tough love. Tough love works on me when it’s coming from me: I can tell myself what to do, but only if I do it out of a deep love for who I already am. This is a more recent lesson in my life – born out of my year of Rhythm – but has won out in getting me to eat better, exercise more, drink less alcohol, meditate, and go be social when I think I want to stay in bed and read fanfiction.

Here’s the thing: I often do want to stay in bed and read fanfiction.

Which bring me to reading and my goal of reading more, in which I mean books (I say to myself with a stern look).

I’m one of the many binge readers in the world but I’m embarrassed that I didn’t actually read many books the last few years. God, I don’t even have an active library card.

(I worked in a library in high school and have a best friend who’s a librarian – this is a horrifying confession to me.)

(That should be the title of this post: Get a Fucking Library Card or Wilt from Shame.)

(In my defense when I buy books I get them from our local indie bookstore, BookPeople.)

What I did read was boatloads of fanfiction. And I stand by it – I’m not ashamed that I read fanfiction. I really really like stuff and when you really really like stuff you want to consume as much content about said stuff as possible. For fandoms like Merlin and Voltron, there is quite a lot of content. Most of it with a good queer love story and a happy ending. It’s heaven.

But I love books – when I start them I’m just as thrilled and enchanted. I reread books often too. Predictability has never been a bore for me.

There’s no getting around it though: I’m missing out. Missing out on stories I will love; that will move me and change me; maybe I’ll even get tattoos about them and I don’t know what they are because I am searching through the hurt/comfort tag on AO3.

So this year, 2019, I’m going to read more books. I fucking mean it.

The How:

  • When I planned my morning schedule I built in reading time each morning after meditation and before writing – a transitional plane for my brain to wake up and engage for 45 minutes.
  • TV is off at 9pm and I’m reading before bed. This is what the experts say to do anyway (get away from screens) and should help me sleep.
  • Fanfiction on weekends only. Uff da.
  • Use Goodreads to make my list and track books I read this year. I set a tentative goal of 52 books this year – a book a week. Honestly, that might be a little low (my fanfiction equivalent was closer to 2-3 books a week but I’m going to see how it plays out).
  • If I don’t like a book, stop reading it. Move on.
  • Use audio books for nonfiction and work-related books. I constantly have podcasts on so I want to redirect some of that energy to a few audiobooks a month. I like my fiction in print but I’m fine having professional development in my ear.
  • Go get a fucking library card.

I finished two books so far this week:

Gretchen Rubin often says on her podcast Happier: “don’t treat a gift like a burden”. I love reading and the burden is making the decision to sit down and do it, not the act itself. I need to keep reframing this time as a gift.

Next up on my list: The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzie Lee. (I reread the first book in the series – The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue – at the end of last year in preparation).

With Love,

Natalie

By NatalieTags: ,