There is magic in anticipation. My dad would always say “hunger is the best sauce” (mostly to get us stop whining before dinner) but there is a larger truth there. For me, looking forward to something is half the pleasure. It’s why I like having plans: whether it’s for vacations a year in advance or a simple self-agenda for my weekend.
Last night, for example, I made a plan earlier in the day to order pizza (a treat now since I’ve been eating healthier for months) and watch one of my favorite movies, How To Train Your Dragon. This was small, completely in my control, and would make me happy. Those are the best plans.
Years ago, I made a plan to travel to London for September 1st, 2017 (the date of the Harry Potter series’ epilogue). Standing in King’s Cross Station at 11am with a crowd of fans who’d travelled around the world for this moment was magical and cathartic and important. But so were the years I had spent getting there. Making the commitment, planning travel with my best friend, knowing that I was going to make this day mean something. All the anticipation made the moment more impactful.
There is an obvious danger to building up moments too much: when expectations rise too high the finish line could be a letdown compared to the journey. I am someone who’s expectations rise easily. They skyrocket. I like being excited and passionate and that tips into the red zone when those (sometimes unrealistic) expectations are not met.
But here’s a reframing: consciously enjoy the process, lean into what you feel when you plan and anticipate, count the build up as part of the joy.
There is a quote from Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series that I love:
“You say you want to see how it all comes out. I hope most of you know better. Want better. I hope you came to hear the tale, and not just munch your way through the pages to the ending. For an ending, you only have to turn to the last page and see what is there writ upon. But endings are heartless. There is no such thing as a happy ending. I never met a single one equal to “Once upon a time.”
Enjoy the beginning. Enjoy the planning. Enjoy the anticipation and the journey. May it make you love the big moments more. May it ease the heartache when those moments inevitably pass. May we create beginning after beginning: like my plan to spend the afternoon writing in the library (where I am now) or my plan to live in a home by the lake someday with my cats, an adopted child, and a golden retriever.
These different futures keep me moving forward in the present, no matter the life of my future self.
With Love,
Natalie