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I am working on story that I’ve been trying to tell for a long time. It’s fiction, a novel that I’m building from a novella I wrote in college. It’s about a boy who loves his family but watches it fall apart and how he lives and heals in the wreckage. Loosely. It’s also about a cat.

I’ve worked on this story on and off for a few years. I couldn’t quite figure out how to tell it. The plot and emotional arc of the aftermath of trauma were ever shifting scenes. If you write, you know that most of the times characters write themselves and I didn’t know where my protagonist wanted to go.

There is a lot of excuses wrapped up in that idea though. Writing for me right now is about showing up. Getting stilted and awkward words typed out for the sake of having any words. During my time in college writing workshops were the surest way to get me to produce writing. A story was due. No time for “writer’s block” or excuses. I spent a lot of afternoons typing out short stories in one sitting, letting the plot and themes write themselves because I didn’t have time to overthink them. In fact, the story I’m working on now started as a short story banged out in one sitting in the college library. I had no idea what was going to come out; I just made myself start typing.

I’m trying to introduce some of that writing workshop accountability into my life. My friend and I have agreed to send each other writing every two weeks. Not for feedback, and not even to read. Just to say hey, we have done the thing. We’ll ask for more when we need it but as we’re both slogging through novel first drafts, in this stage we think it’s more important to get words out. Rewriting and editing is a later step.

“Remember, it’s fine to write a shitty first draft—the only person who sees your draft is you. Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open.”

Stephen King

Though I’ve introduced some form of writing in my life every day with this blog, this is decidedly not my novel writing. That writing has not been daily, but in a couple short bursts throughout the week. I do a mostly weekly writing date with another friend. We meet in a coffee shop on a weekday evening where I have a glass of wine and we write across from each other for an hour. Yesterday, I dedicated a few hours writing in the library. Writing through a gap in the story felt like an adrenaline shot. This story hasn’t felt like me working on it “on and off” for a while now. It feels like I’m working on it. By summer, the draft should be done. Hopefully by the end of the year the editing will be done as well.

Hold me to it.

With Love,

Natalie