I wish I could take my temperature
Not for my fever, but for my heart
For my progress, for my healing
In the moments I feel sick again
I want to know
Am I better?
Is it bad?
I wish I knew the half-life
Of being in love
The rate of decay
Before the knot is too miniscule
To ache each day
Seasons pass
And I wonder and ask
Does it ever really go away?
Tell me if you have the answer
If I had a thermometer
At the point of breaking
It’d flash 105 degrees
And rising, you’re dying
But it’d spike again
Before a grateful 100.1
Burning but functional
And now, past the burning
What’s the number?
Am I better?
If I knew the half-life
At the point of breaking
If I knew it would linger
Like sand against my skin
The gravity may have been too much
To lift my feet at all
It is a blessing
That Love still holds
these secrets
I do not have a thermometer
But I take my temperature
Tell me I am whole