I did a book club with my People team on The Subtle Acts of Exclusion by Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran — it’s a book about microaggressions (though the text argues, successfully, that the term can be excluding from multiple perspectives) and how to understand, identify, and stop them.
We’ve been talking about this particular Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion topic a lot in my workplace this year. We recently ran every team through a live training on the topic and we’re trying to figure out how to give people more resources and language to deal with what is often an uncomfortable conversation.
Subtle acts of exclusion (SAEs) are words or actions that spring from conscious or unconscious bias. For example, asking someone who is not white where they are really from, or telling someone they work really hard for being a millennial, or not waiting for a microphone to be passed to you because you think you’re loud enough but there may be people hard of hearing in the room. One for me is when people say “Hey, Ladies”.
The easy summary of how to handle it: pause the action when it happens, assume positive intent, and explain why the SAE made you uncomfortable. The goal is to create understanding, help others learn, and hopefully not have the same behavior happen again.
Of course, easier said than done. From embarrassment to defensiveness to outright hostility, these conversations are not easy ones. That’s what we spent a lot of time talking about in our team discussion today — what kind of language and tools and reporting processes where people have HR backup if needed can we put in place to create an inclusive, growth-oriented culture where we don’t punish honest mistakes but we also hold people accountable to doing better.
There are no easy answers, at least not ones I can find. But I’m grateful for my own continued education — from books to trainings to conversations I have with coworkers, friends, family — I hope it’s making me a more inclusive leader. But it also shows me how far I have to go when it comes to intervening and welcoming correction of my own behavior.
I do recommend the book, especially if you’re new to this topic — it’s short, digestible, and full of stories that make it a more engaging and impactful read.
With Love,
Natalie