The day passes without emotion
I mark every date in my memory
It’s hard for me to forget
But lately, I do, or I almost do
I remember this morning
Alone at the courthouse
Reading a sterile script in front of the judge
Texting that it was over from the bathroom
Going to Target to buy a movie
My coworkers brought me cheesecake
And champagne
None of it made it any easier
In the years since the day
I’ve gotten drunk or read old letters
Or both
But today I remember
And that’s it
There are no tears
Nothing left to dredge up
The waves of grief are far and in between these years
I never would have believed it
There are some pains you can’t imagine
Not thinking about every hour, every day
Until you don’t, for days, for weeks
Until it’s no longer something that’s happening to you
Rather, something that happened
There’s a difference
With Love,
Natalie