I approach it with a vegan leather notebook
Hand-etched with a quote about magic
Those who don’t believe in it
Never find it
And throw away two pens
Before I find one to write the date
One cat cannot stand the sliding glass door
If I am on the outside of it
Pounds and pounds until I open it wide
And chase him out to be with me
Then he pounds and cries to be let back in
And again, again
The other cat watches the birds
The nude maxi skirt makes my legs sweat
Until I hike it up my thighs
So the mosquitos can kiss my skin
(When it’s time, not yet)
Instead, I write down a list
In the vegan leather notebook
Of all the things that need to change
It’s a long list
Bodies are the final deciders
I believe that, in the end
The mind is a powerful force
Who can cajole and love the body
Into doing painful, strengthening things
But when the body puts its foot down
And wants to rest
It will rest, full stop
The minds must love this too
Or go mad with hate for its other half
Melon Pomelo La Croix, Diet Coke,
Diet Pepsi, more water, water, water
And still the gentle beat in the front of my head
From the nine miles pounded out on the trail this morning
And the late October heat, persisting this afternoon
But I tighten up the mantra I’m supposed to
In the early scene and it feels like progress
Because it is
I approach it like this
The big stuff can wait some days
Not all days, not most days
But some days can be maxi skirts
And cantaloupe and pink grapefruit sparkling water
And thinking and writing and reading and running
And with some to show for it, but not much
But, still, some
The sweat on my shins, the ache in my calves
The new notebook with full first pages
And the cover hand-etched with a quote about magic
Those who don’t believe in it
Never find it