Solitude

Cal Newport argues in his book Digital Minimalism that our modern technology and social media addictions have led to “Solitude Deprivation: a state in which you spend close to zero time alone with your own thoughts and free from input from other minds.”

“It’s now possible to completely banish solitude from your life,” Newport writes. “Thoreau and Storr worried about people enjoying less solitude. We must now wonder if people might forget this state of being altogether.”

In an age of connectivity, we may have made it harder to connect with the most important person in our lives: ourselves.

Even living alone, I still fill most of my silences with podcasts or audiobooks. Walking, cleaning, driving – I’m listening to something. A few years ago, I designed my days so I could barely think at all – minutes stuffed full with work and distraction and drinking so I didn’t have to face the thoughts waiting for me in my solitude.

But we become who we are in our solitude. Just thinking lets ideas marinate, values clarify, and all that hype of mindfulness finally sink in.

Yesterday I was in a quiet car for an hour and a half and I relished the quiet state to unwind from the sun and think about my novel. The shift I felt this last year from being lonely in my apartment, to loving my time alone has made me more sure of myself.

After reading another of Cal Newport’s books, Deep Work, earlier this year I took some steps to curb my social media and screen time. It’s been largely successful, but the urge to grab my phone still plays out over and over throughout the day. Newport’s suggestion is to do a complete social media/internet blackout for 30 days to reset your system.

I got to tell you, I don’t think I’m ready to commit to that. Even though I know it would be powerful and I’d learn a lot about myself. But I do think I can take the smaller steps. Leave my phone out of reach more often. Delete more apps off my screen. Take off my distraction bookmarks from my browser. Train my brain to be okay with silence and solitude.

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.”

Albert Camus

With Love,

Natalie