Let’s count them in the morning
One, five, a thousand and nine
Reasons
The fan is too loud
The skin is too dry
When I hear about camaraderie
And brotherhood
The sob gets stuck in my throat
Breathe
No, dream
Of all the ways the days can go differently
No, wake up
In all the way the days are, count them
There is no one I want more
Than my own phantom self
When she’s stronger and braver than me
There is no one I hate more
Than my own phantom self
When she’s everything I’m trying not to be
If I had an attic
I’d hide maps in locked chests
Each plot and trail traced carefully
And folded up again
Left until they are faded
Left until they are ghosts
If I had a basement
I’d bury the bones of those ghosts
Let them haunt me from beneath the floorboards
Let them haunt me from outside of my own mind
I’ll dance in the living room
Where life is lived
Let’s count them in the evening
Two, four, six thousand and one
Reasons
With Love,
Natalie