When I was eight
I closed my eyes on car rides
And made up stories until I couldn’t think
When I was fourteen
I bought long sleeve shirts
And did so much worse until I couldn’t think
When I was twenty-four
I drank a bottle of two buck chuck
And ate breadsticks until I couldn’t think
When I was twenty-eight
I taped exercise charts to the living room wall
And moved until I couldn’t think
I am thirty-one
I play podcasts until I am dizzy with story
A life of noise so I can’t think
But for all these costs
There are still the racing thoughts
Distraction never lasted before
All attempts at compartmentalization
And in the end, there’s no door
Just every thought that crossed my mind
Breathing together, biding their time
Until they are the star of the show
Soon, I’ll be thirty-two
And I need to think
With Love,
Natalie