A question I pose to my Leadership Development Program participants, during our week on conflict: what do you do to quickly relieve stress?
In one of our readings for the week, we’re advised that the two most important skills we can develop for conflict management are 1) Quick stress relief and 2) Emotional awareness.
It makes sense. Healthy conflict is about standing shoulder to shoulder with someone and facing the problem together. But to get shoulder to shoulder, we first need trust and understanding. We need to listen, ask questions, and tell our stories. And when our bodies are heightened in a stress response, those things become difficult if not impossible.
So what do I do for quick stress relief? When I respond how I should:
- I move. Stand up. Ten jumping jacks. A walk. A run. Depends on what the time allows.
- I listen to a song. I dance.
- I meditate. Deep breaths.
- I vent to someone safe.
- I write it out.
Of course, sometimes I don’t remember to do the healthy things and I’ll spiral or shut down or drink or overeat . . . numbing things that usually heighten my stress in the long run. But I try to come back to the good stuff. Move, breathe, lean into the feelings so I can process through it.
Because conflict is inevitable and necessary and healthy. It’s not conflict that tears the world apart, it’s mismanaged conflict. Hatred, aggression, and violence are consequences of mismanaged conflict. Innovation, progress, and growth are the products of facing conflict shoulder to shoulder with one another.
But first, we need to remember to breathe.
With Love,
Natalie