It’s not a lie
The performance day to day
It’s smiling, and thinking, and empathizing
It’s not a lie
But after I like to let it drop
Glennon Doyle said once
That she cared the most amount
Until she didn’t
Then the next day all over again
It’s something like that
It’s authenticity
My bubbliness, the energy
Because if we are going to show up here
Every day and be together
We should show up
But also I am tired
My jaw hurts from talking
I used to marvel at the meetings I could count in a day
Nine, ten, eleven
Now twelve, just another Wednesday
It’s strange because I don’t mind it
At least, it’s not tearing my soul apart
But a meeting-free Tuesday last week made me want to cry
It’s amazing what we can do with some time to think
It’s not untrue, who I am every day for others
But it’s true that at the end of the day
I don’t want to be anything for anyone at all
Let her rest
With Love,
Natalie