Reply to all the emails. All of them. Okay, well, most of them. Some of them might go away if you leave them unread forever. You’ll either get a follow-up about it or be able to archive it in four months and call your inbox clear.
Do not say yes to anything else. I mean it. No, I really mean it. Keep your fat mouth shut during that meeting. Do not volunteer. Wait them out. You can do it. Damn it.
Aggressively lecture someone four years older than you about signing up for the 401K plan so they can get the company match. Really lean into that unsolicited advice. Talk about target funds. And safe harbors. Call it mentoring.
No, you never wrote a policy about that. In fact, your general policy was to tell people to behave in a way so that you never had to write a policy about that. Shit. We need to write a policy.
Repeat after me: these are inconveniences, not tragedies. Scream into the void. Just a little.
Play a beginner’s powerkick class in your living room. Uppercut, uppercut, cross, cross, kick back, kick forward, kick back, high knee. Start without shoes. Foot cramps. Put on shoes. Start without a bra. Invisible jump rope. Remember you have boobs. Grab a sports bra. Exercise.
Watch Danny Phantom. Just one episode and then work this evening. Okay, one more episode. Goddamn, why is this show so good. One more. Microwave the lavender heat pack. Crawl into bed. Write. Then one more episode. Okay, one more.
With Love,
Natalie