I look up the dates for mercury in retrograde
A phenomenon I don’t really believe in
But I’m searching for an explanation
To why what was easy is grating today
To why my reliable technology glitches
At the worst moment
The anxiety in my chest starts early
–Never quite lets up
Mercury in retrograde, I discover,
Ended yesterday
All that disruptive energy saved up
To reign down on me today
Or it’s just me on a Wednesday
No divine intervention needed
I tell myself to get up
To watch the sunset
Will I? Will I? Will I?
I hope so
It is one thing to know the right thing to do
To remember it, to want it even
And it is another thing to do it
With all this imagined cosmic energy
Pinning me to the cushions
But the sun breaks through the clouds
Through the window
Into my fucking eyes
Wake Up!
I am, mostly
Awake, trying to be
It changes
That’s the best part
The reliable part
Of life, of being myself
It changes, it changes, it changes
With Love,
Natalie