One thought that’s spiraling in my head today — again from Brené Brown’s new podcast — is about grief. There’s a line in it that at first reminds of that lyric from Rise Agains: “let’s compare scars / I’ll tell you whose is worse” . . . where when you compare grief there’s never a comparison. The worst is always your own.
There is collective grief going on right now. We are grieving for a loss of our normal in a million different ways. In the people’s deaths or in people losing their jobs and income. But also in all those “small” ways. In not being able to see friends. In realizing all the training you put in for a marathon is now on hold when it’s canceled. In not being able to take the vacation you saved up for.
I am not saying that loss of life is equal to not being able to go on a vacation. Not at all. There’s a reason we are doing what we are doing and that is to protect life. But I also think we have to give ourselves permission to feel loss and grief in whatever way that’s showing up for us right now and not beat ourselves up because “others have it worse.” Yes, probably. But this is your life, and your grief, and comparing yourself to others doesn’t make your feelings less real.
In theory, not much of my life has changed. I live alone and don’t usually go out on weeknights. But working from home, the mounting pressure at work to see us through this tough time, and the reality of things I usually look forward to (including trips to be with friends and family) being uncertain hits me at different times. Along with the magnitude of what others are facing right now and how helpless I feel to make an impact besides staying inside.
I’m trying to normalize my own ups and downs as much as I can and do my best to adopt a positive mindset and brace myself for the month (at least) to come. We really are all in this together.
With Love,
Natalie