I co-led a webinar today with ~380 participants, video on, and did not wear makeup. When I found out we were doing video-on 15 minutes or so before the call I had no sense of panic that I needed to go check myself in the mirror or change or do anything besides move my floor lamp a little closer so my desk was well-lit. I was more concerned with whether my cats were going to knock my computer over or meow incessantly.
I mention this as a very small victory as someone who’s been pretty preoccupied with their skin, had breakouts well into adulthood, and has a history of being a little insecure about how I look. And the thing was I was even really thinking that I looked good or not (well, confident enough to know I wasn’t showing up looking like a slob to represent my company) but that I wasn’t really thinking about it.
My general complexion is a combination of some prescription pills and moisturizer this year so it’s not like I did some miracle self-care/home remedy. And I do still break out sometimes (my shoulders are not loving me), but I’ve noticed that I’ve become a lot more relaxed about makeup since quarantine. Not just the breakout side of it, but where I used to think I looked a tad unwell if I didn’t have any makeup on, now I feel like I look like myself and often like how I look.
I haven’t worn makeup consistently in months now. At first, because I realized video quality isn’t that good anyway and then because it felt natural. I didn’t feel any less “put together” without it. That doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally wear lipstick or eyeliner — because I enjoy both of those things — but it’s easier to enjoy them when they feel like a luxury or dress-up rather than a prerequisite to feeling pretty.
Small wins, 2020.
With Love,
Natalie