“The same boiling water that softens the potato will harden the egg.”
I came across this saying this week. When I googled it now the rest of the quote says “it’s about what you’re made of, not your circumstances.” And while you could read that and take away “toughen up, let’s all be eggs” that’s not how it struck me.
I read it as this: all our soft points and strong points are different. We are different, complex, beautiful humans which means one event might fortify someone while it brings another to their knees . . . the reverse for another event is also true. Our pasts, our triggers, our identities shape how we react.
Here’s a concrete example from this week. A Billy Cox quote shared: “the two things in life you are in total control over are your attitude and your effort.”
For some, this is motivating and inspiring. But what if you’re in the midst of a depression and feeling like you don’t have control of those things. The words at that moment might feel shaming or belittling of your circumstances. They are not the right words for you where you are.
For me this quote landed in the first category, empowering and aligning with a growth mindset. But I’ve been in the other circumstances too and heard versions of what were supposed to be words of strength that felt like they were just kicking me while I was down.
Maybe part of the point is that you can’t please everyone, especially when your words are going out to a large audience with a myriad of perspectives and emotions.
Here’s what I want to take away instead: a constant duty to speaking and acting with empathy and self-awareness. That while we cannot be everything to everyone, we should not force everyone into boiling water.
With Love,
Natalie