Someday I’ll rewrite my Februarys
Put a red pen to the memories
And find days to love in it again
It’s not as sharp now
But it can still slip beneath my skin
If I’m not careful
I am very careful
There were cans of Crush grape soda
With label made love notes
Delivered for a dollar
In high school lunchrooms
There was that walk in graveyard
I never lived down
But I knew then what it’s taken me years to relearn:
Dead things need to be put to rest
There was a birthday gift
I can’t ungive
I would never ungive
I have never regretted
Even when it was returned
Years later, stuffed back into the same battered box
I spend half a decade
Untangling everything I believe
And stitching it back together again
I don’t regret that either
Seasons come and go
Layered with memories
That used to bring me to my knees
But now I rewrite them, one by one
Until they are no longer bombs
Ready to rip me apart
Rather, just a month, just a date
Just something that happened
I am rewriting my February
But I am the kind of writer
Who takes years
To find the right story
With Love,
Natalie