In my evolving journey to be healthier, I’m still making a lot of mistakes. If what you eat is the door to losing weight, portion control has been my key. I haven’t necessarily cut out foods I love, but cut down. I play the game of counting calories which I’ve warned people about for the last ten years. I lean towards obsessive, after all, and food and weight is something I don’t want to be obsessive about.
Being healthy is not about being hungry. And while I don’t do it on purpose, I am naturally bad at planning out my daily nutrition. I don’t cook, don’t like to, might someday but today is not that day. The best I can manage is turkey sausage crescent roll ups or some other 20 minutes or less stick it in the oven variety. Or baking cookies the two to three times a year the mood strikes me.
In general, I’m okay with this. I have decided it’s okay for me to spend my money grabbing a sandwich daily. It’s okay to get delivery once a week. I’m prioritizing my time differently and am purposefully not making time to meal prep and cook.
A side effect: sometimes I don’t plan my days well. I’m not bringing food to work so around lunchtime I’m suddenly starving and hopefully I have time to go grab something. Rarely do I think ahead to block out lunch on my calendar, so it always feels like I’m forcing a lunch block in when I get hungry. Or sometimes I’ll think I’m okay getting by on a granola bar and a banana until dinner. I’m not, really. And I end the day ravenous and exhausted. Or gorging on unhealthy food because I’ve pushed myself beyond my willpower.
I love having plans and looking forward to them, so the reasonable step here might be to plan my week of eating ahead of time. Not meal prep, but a rough schedule of eating out and cooking at home that I can sink into each day. The mental energy it takes to think about it as I get steadily hungrier throughout a morning of work exhausts me. It might also take away the potential for bad eating decisions (whether it’s skipping meals or eating unhealthily).
I am trying to be transparent about my fitness and health to hold myself accountable to doing this the right away. Less aesthetic infatuation and more feeling strong and awake in my body. There’s a important line between prioritizing and obsessing. The only way not to cross is to keep it in my sight.
With Love,
Natalie