My mom and I did some obligatory vacation shopping in Kihei a few days ago. Obligatory not because you need to buy new things for a vacation to be a vacation, but because my mom and I both enjoy each other and shopping. I also realized that none of my shorts fit me anymore: a good thing since I’d lost weight; a bad thing since I was in Maui and all my shorts made me feel frump-mcgump.
This reminded me of one of my mom’s many life lessons: don’t look at the size, wear clothes that fit.
She’d tell this to me in dressing rooms when I was in high school, fretting over being a different jean size in certain brands or always wanting to force myself into a small everything just to be the kind of person who always wore a small. I didn’t understand then how crazy and subjective so much sizing is across all brands. It messes with your head.
Instead, just buy what fits.
Stasia Savasuk has also reinforced this lesson for me this last year as she repeats over and over on her Instagram: “your body is not the problem; the clothes are the problem.” Again, get clothes that fit!
My mom and I visited a small boutique store on the main road of Kihei and walked into a treasure trove. We both had fun trying on a heap of outfits and I found a great pair of shorts! It felt like a miracle when it only came in three sizes and one of them fit like a glove. My mom didn’t comment on them at first because she thought I’d worn them in, they looked so much like mine.
And it made such a difference in how I was feeling about my body to wear clothes that fit well. While I was feeling big and fidgety and shy in my old shorts, suddenly I felt like I wanted to wear crop tops and red lipstick and walk around town.
What you wear, how you show up each day, matters more than we give it credit. When I have a tough day coming at work, I usually dress up more than usual. Clothes can give me a little boost of confidence and rightness.
I recently tore through my closet again to collect items to donate to Goodwill. I want to have a closet full of clothes that make me feel like myself. The worst feeling is seeing yourself in the mirror halfway through the day and hating what you have on. I shake it off, but why would I ever wear those clothes again after they hurt my feelings?
Clothes should not hurt your feelings.
Thank you to my mother, and Stasia, and all the body-positive voices out there. Loving ourselves is the first step to dressing ourselves.
With Love,
Natalie