I tear at my cuticles
When I’m anxious
And they bleed on me this week
As I gnaw off my nail polish
Run to breathe
Run to reset
Jump off the dock
Into the bay
Suddenly everything
Is going to be okay
I’ll paint my nails again tonight
My mom told me too
When I was young
So I’d stop ripping them jagged
But I paint them all the time now
And my teeth dent the finish
Remember to clean up
Fold the clothes in the new way
Vacuum the floors, the couch cushions
Scrub at the bathroom floor
Let the rooms breathe
So I can too
Push at my cuticles
Until they hurt
I’ve always had a bad habit
Of poking at bruises
Of deepening cuts
Until they scar
Remember what the nomads said:
You’re worried too much
About where you’re going
You got to focus less on the “where”
And more on the “going”
Remember to breathe
Remember to run
Remember to plan where to go
But that’s it’s okay some days to not know
It’s enough to just go
With Love,
Natalie