Tomorrow marks two weeks since I hacked together a display of daily to-dos with seven sheets of memo pad paper and some red and blue markers. I did this because I just felt sad a couple of weeks ago, not because I was particularly falling off on most habits. The running, meditating, blogging all seemed to be getting done nonetheless. But I mainly did it to get out of my damn bed in the morning.
On five out of my seven sheets of paper (weekends I can sleep, okay?) the first item on the list is “out of bed by 6”. And it’s checked off every day since I using packing tape to stick the paper to my living room wall. My previous ideal was 5 am wake up time but I’m cutting myself a little break — I just wanted to be up before the sun again. Waking up slowly with the sunrise and having enough time to meditate and read for the first hour of the day matters so much then I give it credit for when I am decidedly not doing those things.
I’d slipped into a bad habit of snooze alarms in quarantine, even when my phone was plugged in across the room. I’d literally just keep physically getting all the way out of bed, hit snooze again, and return. Multiple times. My way of transitioning my brain has been to set my first alarm for 5:30, do that ridiculous routine, and then get up for real at 6. This cannot possibly be a sustainable habit but it’s working for now.
For whatever reason, I’m highly motivated by not breaking chains. It’s why I’ve kept my meditation streak up for over two years. Why I’ve written on here every day, in sickness and in health, since I started the new year in 2019. I like to change habits on my own terms (like when I consciously decided to stop tracking my food intake last fall after doing it every day for over a year, not just because I missed a day).
I’ve promised myself not to beat myself up if I miss a checkmark on my quarantine chart, but at least it’s gotten me out of bed on time for the last two weeks.
With Love,
Natalie