It’s been half of my lifetime
–Fourteen years–
Since April 21st meant anything to me
It used to be a day I collected years
And wore heels
And made puppy chow
It’s a quieter day now
Half of my lifetime
Is a long window
For change
And life has changed
I have a tattoo over my earliest scars
And I don’t think about them every day
I never thought I’d be able to say that
But at fifteen, how could I know?
I didn’t understand how the future could be
Unwritten, ripped apart, and threaded together anew
Again and again and again
Today is a day
I spend with my friends
We drive to a state park in Michigan
And walk through primeval woods
Towering beech trees at the climax of their growth
A quiet river to follow around the trail
The sun is out after days of gloom and rain
And it means something to me
That there is light today
After the woods, we go to the beach
Long and deep and empty
Except for us, trudging in our winter gear
Along the clear waters of Lake Michigan
We hike up and around the dunes path
Until our calves burn
But the sun stays out
Today is a day
I make puppy chow, still
An old tradition
Chex and chocolate and peanut butter
Vanilla, butter, powdered sugar
My only expertise
And I always share it with friends
Today is no different
My tongue is coated with sugar
I wash it down with one Diet Coke too many
But April 21st has always been about celebrating life
So today is not a day to count
With Love,
Natalie