Every year I celebrate April 21st as an unofficial self-care/celebration of life/me day. For a full origin story, here’s the post I wrote last year. The short of it: back in 2007, fourteen-year-old me was depressed, self-harming, and suicidal and on this day I made a conscious decision to correct my path. I’ve had to continue correcting, resetting, becoming since then — I always will — but I hold space today for that little girl I once was and her choice to live.
Typically I mark today by dressing up a little bit and making puppy chow to share with friends or coworkers and all around trying to make the best of the day. Since we’re in quarantine I knew that was going to look a little different this year. I couldn’t connect with people in person and I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in the past weeks like so many of us. I decided to take today off from work — Tuesday’s are the one day I don’t have meetings — and create a day that was a little more outside of the routine that it felt special.
This year, April 21st looked like sticking to my morning routine of getting up early, meditating, reading, and following my running and weights plan. Then I had lefse and eggs for breakfast while watching the Ultimate Spider-Man (tv show).
Late morning I drove a little down the highway to a different trail entrance on the Greenbelt, intent on exploring the half of the trail I’ve never been on before. The two-plus hour hike was beautiful, serene, and just what I needed. The sun was out and I would look up at the sky and the empty trail all around me and say thank you out loud. It was all a good work out with my turnaround point being the Hill of Life at the end of the trail. It’s basically a mile uphill hike. Uffda. I listened to two podcasts: the newest episode of Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us and the new Queerly episode interviewing Glennon Doyle.
Austin has had a #TakeoutTuesday movement since businesses shutdown to support local restaurants, so I stopped by Freebirds for a curbside pickup lunch. The rest of the afternoon I did washed my bedding and cleaning my apartment (Taylor Swift on shuffle in the background) and then sat out on my balcony reading until I finished my book: Blanca & Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore. Oh, and I put on a dress because why the hell not?
Then the final and traditional right of passage that I’ve done every April 21st in my memory. I made puppy chow. (or Muddy Buddies if you want to go off the back of the cereal box). My biggest barrier this year was that the grocery store was clean out of Chex when I shopped on Friday. So I substituted for Honey Nut Cheerios. The extra honey flavor is actually pretty awesome.
This was a good day. This morning I told myself to manage expectations — it’s just a day, after all — and to let the day flow rather than have a set checklist. But it was a really good day where I’ve felt connected to nature, and my body, and me. Today is about honoring life and life, messy and unpredictable as it feels sometimes, is good.
With Love,
Natalie