Think with the whole body.
Taisen Deshimaru
It’s amazing what a little winter sun and a five-mile run can do. It’s not a miracle, how the day (and the week, and the month) slowly turn around afterward. It’s not all better. But like looking at the stars, a steady run is enough to force some perspective. There’s a place for all my raging thoughts to go in the open air and my legs help me cycle through them faster than I can do sitting in any chair.
I meditate to put myself to sleep but there is no other time I’m more in tune with my breath than when it carries me, partnering with gravity to move me forward on the road. Sometimes I don’t know how much I needed to feel strong until I feel strong again. It’s a bright spot, this habit. I tell myself later, to anchor it in. To remember in the morning when I’m desperate to avoid the day. To prioritize it when it’s easy to roll over and try again later.
I saved emails and snark and in the aftermath of exercise found I didn’t need to say what I thought I wanted to say. That after looking at the jagged ice on the bay and hearing the perfect quiet of the wind and my breath that I am myself again.
I wish it stuck, every time I learn this lesson and feel this power. But I’ll have to do it again and again and every day I can, anchoring in that joy so it doesn’t get buried so easily in times of stress and sadness. And I will. Again and again.
With Love,
Natalie