A story I recalled to a friend tonight:
I read Maya Angelou’s I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings in high school. There’s a part near the end where she is admiring another woman and worries that she might be a lesbian.
So, naturally, she promptly goes and sleeps with a man to reaffirm her identity. And gets pregnant.
Afterwards she reflects on learning the difference between wanting someone and wanting to be like someone.
What I took away from this story: “Oh, I must just want to be like other women. Totally makes sense. I am 100% hetero. Thanks for the lesson, Maya.”
To be clear, Maya Angelou was a wonderful human and writer and definitely did not mean to set back the discovery of my sexual orientation by five years, but that passage had a part to play.
Turns out sometimes I do envy others and want to be like them. And sometimes I just want them. Murky waters to sift through. I’m glad I did, though.
With Love,
Natalie