Posted on

I walked up the movie theater stairs carefully in the dark as the pre-show played behind me. My seat in the back row, near the middle, near exactly where I like it, was waiting for me on opening night of Captain Marvel. Next to it, five other seats with five people I got to join me. I’m halfway up the stairs back to my seat and I realize this with a burst of gratitude. Maybe it shouldn’t surprise me that I have people in my life that will let me drag them to opening night movies, but wow, five of them. Five of them who meet me for drinks before and ask each other about SXSW plans and shrug along when I have us go into the theater twenty-five minutes early.

In college, I’d go to opening nights as well, buy tickets for my friends and have them wait in line with me for a few hours so we could get the seat I wanted. (The best improvement of this decade has been the popularization of reserved seats in movie theaters). It’s how I knew they loved me when I so clearly loved the movie and loved the experience more than they did. It became obvious after college when I moved away and they stopped going to opening nights. Or seeing the same movies I did. At first, I was stunned that I had been pulling the reins back then more than I thought, but then I saw them for what they were: good friends.

That’s what this is now, I think, continuing up the stairs. Good friends. Who probably also want to see the movie but have turned over how they see it to me. Three years ago I would not have had these seats filled. It might just have been me. And okay, sometimes it still is me because I like seeing movies alone too, but sharing big movies with others makes it more exciting. I love all the hype and build-up.

And they say “thank you” for planning this like I’ve done them a favor when it’s the opposite. Their presence normalizes my crazy and normalizes my life. I go to a movie with friends on a Thursday night. I have a drink, I have dinner, I like the movie, I hug them goodbye or say “see you tomorrow” in the parking garage. And through every beat I say thank you, thank you, thank you for this slice of life that is good, and real, and mine.

With Love,

Natalie