This three-day weekend has been fully devoted to packing. I continue to underestimate the time it takes and the amount of stuff I have — at least I started early. Today I also went into my office and packed up the rest of my personal belongings. I have gone into the office periodically since we went remote in March. I’m the designated mail checker (or was). Today, though, I was keenly aware it could be my last time in this space and it certainly would be the last time when my individual office was mine.
It’s no secret I get attached to spaces. At our office before this newer (nicer) location, I was the last one in it before the keys were handed over. I sat in the completely empty, somewhat dusty, rooms for an hour reflecting and saying goodbye. I had done a lot of transformation there.
We’ve been in our new space for two years and I have loved it too, though I didn’t feel the same visceral sadness that comes with closing one chapter and starting anew. But as I went through my file cabinet and wiped the surfaces and remembered Ashley helping me decal the quote to the wall, I felt heavy with gratitude and almost a disbelief that I was leaving. The pandemic cut off everything so abruptly. There were no real goodbyes to the life we had before and the life we have now. I’ve been working through these transitions for months and my feelings can pivot on a moment.
Before I left I walked slowly through each part of the office. Remember how I stood in front of the company every Friday in the breakroom. How I’d pop around the corner to say hello to the sales team. How I’d stand in my boss’s office for all our weekly meetings.
If I was leaving my job as well as the office space I know my emotions would be out of control. I’m still so grateful that I’m able to work remotely from Wisconsin, and that my job won’t really change for me (or anyone) after working from home these past four months. I’m not sure when I’ll be back in Austin to see my coworkers — Texas, and the rest of the country, needs to get its act together first — and I’m not sure if I’ll be returning to this space or another. But it was a good chapter, two years with the bright blue carpet and the J.M. Barrie quote above my head. A very good chapter.
With Love,
Natalie