Today, a day that feels like recovery. A step in the right direction after more than a week of uncertainty, decline, and stasis. A day where I could spend a long morning in bed without pushing myself through work. A day where I could appreciate the fall colors outside in the afternoon. A day where my energy peaked enough to clean: wash the sheets, vacuum the carpet, scrub the bathroom, shake off the dust that gathered while I had barely found the energy to do the dishes or wash my hair.
It doesn’t last forever, the spurt of movement that catches me mid-afternoon, but it lasts long enough for me to feel human again. It’s the light back into the routines I’m craving — of running and creating. No matter how much I love binge-watching anime, eventually, you want to do something with all that inspiration.
I pick up a book this evening for the first time in a while, deciding to reread what I’m craving to reread if it’ll get out of my reading rut. I read with the windows open to let the autumn breeze air out the cleaned condo and put a heat pack on my stomach and a blanket on my legs to combat the chill as I tear through the chapters. When I glance up I watch the sky go golden to purple to black. I’m eager to get back to it, resisting caffeinating this late so I can stay up reading. I love that feeling.
My head still aches a little, and I slept restlessly, but today I feel like I am no longer stuck not knowing if I would get better or worse. I knew I would get better, of course. On the whole, it wasn’t that intense. But it felt prolonged, unchanging, and soured my mood these past two weeks. Finally today, a change. A day that feels like recovery.
With Love,
Natalie