I’m going to cheat a bit tonight and share an old piece of writing, but it was just such a bizarre find. I’m working on planning my high school class reunion next summer (our ten year), and took a little side trip into my old email inbox to see if I could find my graduation speech. I was class president and did the welcome speech which included collectively calling us the prima donnas of the show or some such writing fluff that I kind of wanted to read it again.
No luck in my old email box, but I stumbled onto another document dated around the same time as graduation called “Memory Speech.” This turned out to be a rhyming poem that is part nostalgia and part lots of call-outs at all my peers. I must have had their help writing it — there is detail in there I don’t remember at all — but I honestly don’t remember ever sharing this or it even existing. But I introduce it like this was for a class picnic? Another event I don’t remember. 10 years is a lifetime.
Anyway, enjoy this strange look into my adolescence:
Welcome to the 2010 Senior Picnic
So with soda and chips and celebration
We thought we’d now begin it
A rehash before the permanent high school vacation
Remember all those stupid ideas we had?
The ducks? The cliques?
Like Jenna, Brooke, and Jordan’s “Eggs” fad
Thank God those were over quick
And the year of crushes
4th grade filled with love notes
Check Yes No Maybe boxes intensified girly blushes
And a million sappy letters we’d die to quote
To name a few infamous pairs:
Matt & Jordan
Jon H & Chloe
Natalie & Cam/Derek
Ali & Carl
Brooke & Brendan
Now on to other affairs . . .
Also in fourth, lumberjack days
Where in arm wrestling Victoria had Ben tied
And Country School days
Where we took on new names, learned about old ways
Remember the movies twice a week
Man did we have it made . . .
The Reading Rainbow, so uber unique
And then came 5th grade
But before we go too far
Into academia and that mess
Let’s remember the times that were totally bizarre
Because these qualify, you got to confess
Kourtney pooping her pants in Jaynie’s bed
Or Josh Funseth eating a worm
Or Brock falling out of the truck’s flatbed
Or Carl calling Coca-Cola to ask about sperm
Or the grade school talent fever
With Jenna & Natalie’s and Shania Twain
And Cam and Ben’s “I’m a Believer”
That show was the key to instant NG fame
And sports, undefeated 8th-grade boys b-ball team
Even though in 4th Brock threw the ball over his head
And a Cross Country team that went to the extreme
While the Volleyball games were something to dread
And even then, we were in the adult mood
We all wanted to be grown-ups
Be it doing Pilates videos eating junk food
Or pouring milk/white wine into our cups
But when Alissa didn’t know Paris from France
And Rachel said “I can’t even write a two page paper in American”
Our education couldn’t be left up to chance
Especially if we wanted to speak good American
And Kourtney pantsed everyone,
so hold onto your drawers
And so Lane could have a bit of fun
He paid Travis to do all his chores
And now a tribute to those not born raised
In this little Swiss town
Those who had to adapt to the crazy Swiss ways
And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy
So to Alex Atwell, who took Prom King his first year
And to Jaynie Page, whose personality lit up the halls
And to Evan Pinnow, who can’t be here for the cheer
He’s off at boot camp busting his balls
And to Alex Gemmell, who earned the title real quick
Of a ginger with brains and hair he hates to cut
Though Bryce has hair so long and so thick
He’ll always walk with a tilted strut
And to Emily, our little music prodigy
And while we’re on the musical beat
A shout to the marching band
DWI and Eskimo Skeet
Which brings us our High School dances
Central Park at Night and Rave-in-a-Box
Boston Store shopping and hopes for romances
Kicked off our heals to Kesha’s Tik Tok
And chalked up to our film productions
The homecoming video we couldn’t show
And a youtube premier of a fire melon
And an unsuspecting golf club throw
And then the memories we couldn’t categorize
Like Kelsey S singing while her voice is kapeesh
And Carl and Tom’s sand kingdom demise
Or witnessing a man with a kid on a leash
And the class picture disaster
Where the mancave was turned down
But we held onto our laughter
That night outside of town
And from Washington DC to New Orleans
Boston to New York City
Kenny stole the bus which was really mean
And we built houses down in the nitty gritty
Michelle worked hard to earn her stud award
And the other girls got down in the streets
Travis pushed a shopping cart in front of a ford
And Paul’s air-conditioned bus saved us from the heat
Ultra class bonding at the Kalahari
Apples to Apples and shaving cream while asleep
Michigan Seniors 30 safari
And watching Brooke dominate the surf with a screech
Back in New Glarus
Paper bags at lunch popped
Ott moments entertained us
And short-shorts were stopped
May 12th was a bust
But only a ruse
It went off as planned
But we’re not giving you any clues
In other news, Kevin has his own hospital bed
Victoria’s read through a library of books
Sun-Top’s bet still turns Jenna red
And Roger tried to catch Kourtney with a buffet hook
Wrapping up eighteen years is never easy
But neither is looking ahead
I know all our laughs now sound kind of cheesy
But over regrets, I’d take laughter instead
After excusing theses awkward lines
We hope you’ve enjoyed this rehash
So to conclude this rhyme
Senior class – congrats!
WIth Love,
Natalie