10 Miles

I ran the Austin Run for the Water 10 Mile race today! I haven’t run this kind of distance since I was twenty and I’ve spent the rest of my day feeling so grateful for my body. I’ve thanked it and hydrated it and fed it because it carried me all those miles today and let me train for it even though it’s been burned in the past. Thank you, body.

I woke up at 5 this morning — bless daylight saving time — and was apprehensive about how this run would go. Last night I thought I felt the oncomings of a cold and I was exhausted, which at least made it easy to go to bed early and get eight hours of sleep. So much so that I woke up before my alarm. Still, my breakfast churned in my stomach and I worried I was in for a painful ten miles.

But by the time I got downtown, the sun was rising, the temperature was perfect (cool, without numbing my fingers), and I felt unexpectedly awake and ready. I lined myself up near the back of the pack, anticipating I’d do about 11-minute miles.

I ran a 1.36.35 race. That’s a 9.40-mile pace. Slow for some, but fast for me. When I ran my half-marathon in college I was closer to a 10.30-mile pace and my normal trail runs are usually closer to 11 mark. I guess when I’m not navigating rough terrain I am a lot faster than I think. I’m bragging a bit, but it just felt so good. I was even able to pick up my pace the last couple of miles and sprint finish.

Yes, my legs were fucking sore during the last few miles and those rolling hills were no joke, but something about the adrenaline of the run, being surrounded by other runners, having spectators cheer you on, and the sun shining over a waking city made slipping into a runner’s high for much of the race easy.

I expected to be wiped afterward and intended to spend the day more or less in bed vegging out, but that’s not what happened. Yes, I watched some TV but then I got restless and ended up cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, rearranging my bookshelf, running an errand to get a frame and hanging up a new poster . . . and yes a little more TV while I painted my nails. Time seemed to move blessedly slowly all day.

I’m feeling my energy levels get lower now but by coincidence, my new volleyball season is starting tonight so I’m going to sneak another hour of exercise in before I truly collapse this evening. My legs are not looking forward to it but on the other hand I am excited to play some volleyball after over a month gap.

I am so glad I decided to sign up for this run and train for it. I like having goals, but in a way, I feel like completing this run has healed an old wound. After I hurt my knee in college — due to poor training — and couldn’t run I felt like a failure. When my ex-husband told me I had to do long runs to be attractive to him I felt ashamed. Running was no longer something that belonged to me — maybe it never had belonged to me.

But today it did. It was all mine. All for me.

I am grateful.

With Love,

Natalie